In a time, before time, there was a proud race of beings known as nipplemen they were made entirely of breasts. Such beings roamed the Ather searching for the right keepers of the nipples. Some of the men became diseased along the journey and developed breast cancer.Being composed entirely of breasts they had no chance of survival once infected. It was unfortunate but, for the groups safety, they were chosen to be left behind in the care of wild sheep. The survivors continued on their journey in search for these sacred beings called women who were foretold as their makers. They faced countless dangers along their path including nipple(play)bats and giant flesh eating rattlesnake-mice which could swallow a nipple in a single suckle. For as many that were killed, many nipplemen survived; these were not just any bipedal nipples, no sir. These were some of the most intelligent race of nipple creatures to ever walk the surface of Nippluto.
The nipplemens' prophecy foretold of great beings whom would take onto their chests the great nipplemen and thrust force a new species where both woman and nipple could live in harmony. Unknown to them was the great danger of the wandering buffoon, also known as the man. Said men had no need for such beings as nipplemen for they were of no use to them and sought to it that they did not find places atop a young woman's chest. Although the dangers were clearly evident, and the certainty of their success still unknown, they pressed on in search for the women.
It was told that of the many to make the journey, four would be chosen to become the first hybrid of woman and nipple, and that they would provide the life source for all infants of the new species. Some nipplemen however, were falsely convinced that the great prophecy was a lie and joined the journey in an attempt to sabotage it.
The nipplemen traveled the Ather until they reached the Garden of Eden. In such garden they found both a man and a woman and called to both of these people to allow them to hear out their prophecy. The nipplemen spoke their prophecy to the man and woman and proposed that in exchange for a home forever atop the woman's bosom, they would in turn quench the thirst for a young child and give them the nutrients they so desperately need in order to survive. The man saw this as some type of heresy and saw to it that this agreement was to be stopped. Some of the nipplemen joined forces with the man to see that this species is never to be born. They decided that they would stop the joining ritual between woman and nipplemen and put and end to all of this so called "nonsense."
The nipplemen rebels and the man devised a scheme to destroy the alliance of the species. They decided that when the time came for the ritual to take place, they would throw themselves into the area, disrupting the fusion of the three creatures. They waited, and watched eagerly for their time to strike. The ritual began, in a great flash of light, which blinded the eavesdroppers. The ritual participants began to glow an eerie green as their atoms loosened their form for the fusion process and they could feel themselves becoming one. The uninvited guests decided it was time to strike and bounded for the ritual site.
As they threw themselves into the fusion, the result was not what they had expected, instead of disrupting the fusion, they too entered it. In turn they became what they had wanted to prevent in the first place, the perfect combination of human and nippleman. The woman, with her new found nipples was able to spread the nutrients of life to all of the earth's children, while the man was forced to bear the traitorous nipples of shame for eternity, always reminding them of their foolish betrayal.
And that my children, is why both men and women have nipples.